I suppose the next phase of my life is to get healthy and get into shape. I always knew exercise=positive mental attitude, but I never but much stock into that until I did it myself. I have thank you's for a couple of people I've met during my cancer journey and you know you are.
The first thank you is to the director of Hope Lodge. During my last stay there, she approached me as I was getting ready to leave and asked me if I'd be interested in Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. I wasn't really sure about it at the time, but I knew I wanted to do something like this. There is something empowering about being around women who have had similar experiences as you're own. I wanted my story out there, and I wanted to make a difference.
Of course, my sister, Melanie, would say I'm being narcissistic, but at this point in my life, I'm allowed to be narcissistic. I'm allowed to think about just me and what I want out of my life. I'm allowed to want to share my story; the good, the bad, the evil and all the other emotions entangled with having breast cancer. Whenever she makes fun of me I just respond ever so casually, "Shut-up!"
How in the world was I going to be able to walk a three-five mile walk when I've been inactive for the past two years? Where was all that energy going to come from.
A month later, we learned that Genesis Health Club in Salina, KS was hosting a fitness challenge and from there the "Mom Squad" was born. Oh, did I happen to mention the final prize was a three-day trip to Las Vegas? Hell yeah. Why not? What better motivator than a trip to Las Vegas?
The moment of truth: the weigh in. I really didn't want to share this part, but I suppose full disclosure is what this is all about. My beginning weight: 188lbs. Every time I would have a check-up I seemed to gain at least ten pounds. When I was going through chemotherapy, I weighed 120lbs. Let me tell you now, the weight doesn't stay off.
What's even more frustrating is when we work out together. I constantly catch myself checking out where she is on the treadmill. How fast she is going, how many calories she has lost etc. I have to keep reminding myself that my body isn't her body. Her body hasn't gone through what my body has gone through the last two years.
I can't walk at a 5 speed, 10 incline. I'm lucky to get above a 2.5 speed with a 4 incline. My doctor tells me that it will be months before I will be able to do more than that. I suppose I have to start somewhere though. I keep saying to myself, "Damn it, I want that trip to Vegas. How am I suppose to lose weight when I'm barely walking?"
The good news to date is that I've lost six pounds and she's lost seven pounds. I attempted Genesis' boot camp and made it through two stations and she managed to make it all the way through four. I am proud of her. Sometimes though I want to bitch slap her when she yells at me about buying pasta.
I just have to remind myself this is not only about the trip to Las Vegas. Exercising is life changing for me. I feel better about myself. I have more of a positive outlook on life, even when Melanie is yelling at me. (She doesn't always yell at me, I'm just making her out to be a royal pain in my ass.)
I will also have the energy and the motivation to complete the 3-5 mile Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk at the end of October!
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