Pontoon

Since we're at the beginning of the new year, I've decided to take inventory of my life. The good, the bad, the ugly. Last year, I had to create a will in case I died, but I hadn't really listed who gets what. Technically, my husband gets everything if something were to happen to me, but I know for a fact he would honor my wishes and agreed to sign a waver stating my children would receive what I wanted them to receive. I wasn't really able to do this when I was going through chemotherapy because I didn't want to think about. I'd start a list, and then I'd stop. Or, I'd start planning my funeral, and then I couldn't finish. My sister would tease me about the fact that I wanted to make sure my funeral went my way and I was too controlling. I have even started to create my video montage because I want to make sure the video reflects what I want to say about my life, not what someone else thinks. I want to choose my music in case something were to happen. I was teasing my son a few months ago and told him I want them to play, "Pontoon" by Little Big Town. Can you imagine after all the tears to have this played. I think it would definitely get a few chuckles.

I don't plan on dying any time soon, but I do want to have everything planned out so that my family doesn't have the added stress of planning. Planning a funeral for loved ones can be very emotional.

When my mom died, we had to make the decision if she was to be cremated or not. We all chose not to have her cremated because it just didn't seem right to any of us. We were all raised Catholic and we knew our grandparents would not have chosen cremation for her. Now, of course my mom hadn't made that decision either, but I think she was okay with the possibility because she knew it was less costly. There goes my mother again, trying to save us some money in the long run. Money didn't matter at that point though.

Thank goodness for our aunt and uncles who helped choose a casket though. None of us wanted to go to the funeral home to choose one so they narrowed it down to three and presented them to us. Since we all have different personalities we all chose differently. I personally, liked the one my Uncle Tom had picked out with the flowers.

I guess I'm writing about this now because it's still so fresh in my mind. It's been nearly three years and I still think about her death as if it were yesterday. Life is too short to be angry all the time and hold grudges.