Why are there certain types of people who are out there whose primary goal is to stir the pot? It's almost as if they want to start drama for you. Some of them mean well, and some of them just do it for the pure purpose of attention. Then, there are those out there who do this because they are so unhappy in their own lives that they want to make everyone around them unhappy as well. When you surround yourself with these individuals, it's very difficult not to get caught up in the gossip as well. You know the kind of conversations I'm talking about. "Did you know that so and so did this"? "Did you know that she went out and got a pop today"? Really, whose business is it that I went out and got a pop? Do you even know it was a pop, or could it have been ice water? My personal favorite was when I was resting at home from chemo and Becky rushed over to see if I was ago. A phone call had been made to my father that my husband was in town and they worried he was going to come by the house. What were they so worried about? If he had been in town and if he had showed up, that's my business. Did they really think he was going to physically harm me? Then, after I had convinced my dad that I had in fact talked to my husband that morning, and he was eleven hours away he revealed what had happened. What's even more funny is that I get a text saying, "I heard your husband was in town. Did you have a nice visit"? The person that sent the text was the person that started the whole circus of drama. Don't you have enough to deal with in your own life that you have to cause me unneeded stress?
Some people just don't get it. What exactly is stress to a cancer patient? Stress is constant badgering. Stress is gossiping about the chemo patient behind their back. Stress is sharing personal information with others who didn't need to know their full history. Stress is calling SRS on a cancer patient and then casually forgetting to let them know that the person has cancer. Stress is trying to convince a cancer patient that she needs to divorce her husband. Stress is trying to figure out what you're going to eat and be able to keep down that day without having to beg someone to fix you something edible and healthy. Get the picture yet?
Now, let's talk about support. Support is showing up! Support is helping a person who isn't prone to asking for help. Support is helping, not meddling, not taking over completely. Support is just being there for a shoulder to cry on. Support is making it okay for you to take off your hat because you know that person's head is sweaty and uncomfortable. Support is making it okay for that person to rest when she/he needs to rest. Support is making it safe for that person to lean on you.
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