Bloomin' Boobs

The Monday following my recovery time from my double mastectomies, a social worker from Department, Children and Family showed up on my doorstep.
"Hello"? I answered.
"Hi, my name is Jody and I'm a social worker with DCF." She said. I was suspicious as to why she was here, now, which is why I asked to see her identification. I didn't understand why she would be at my doorstep when technically, someone else had legal guardianship over my children. Technically, I didn't have any custody.
I questioned her and she explained that the children's guardian ad lietem, Mr. Buck, had asked her to do a home visit because the guardians were relinquishing their duties. I still didn't quite understand why she was there. At that point, I didn't trust her because I remember Becky telling me her friend Jill was the supervisor at DCF. I was careful of what I said and I tried not to be too defensive.
I don't really remember much, except that she went into the kids' bedrooms and took pictures. She asked me a few questions and then asked me to sign a medical release. I hesitated at the medical release because I didn't understand how having that information would prove whether or not I was a good parent.
Now, as I'm writing this I remember my dad telling me that Becky had sent him an email with the statutes for terminating your parental rights. Among the list was mental illness. DCF had already been informed I had undergone counseling and I now I believe they wanted to use that against me. Jody then explained to me it would be better for me if I cooperated and I explained to her that my father had power of attorney and I was instructed not to sign anything without him looking it over first. She still pursued it and because I didn't have the energy to debate her and was doped up Oxycodone and Oxycontin, I signed it. Oh, did I mention she knew that I was heavily medicated?
Why should my cancer prognosis determine whether or not my children should live with me or my ex-husband? I did the guardianship voluntarily so that my children would be in a stable environment and so that they wouldn't have to see me go through chemotherapy. I didn't want them to have to watch me get sick, or be so weak I couldn't move off the couch. I didn't want them to see me take all 15 of my medications, or have to see my washed-out face and the dark rings under my eyes. I didn't want them to have to see my hair fall out and have to see me being bald on a daily basis. They had already been through so much. At the time, they were having to watch their own grandmother go through what I was now, having to go through and that was just too much, even for an adult. So why the hell was I being interrogated like an unfit parent?
Everything moved pretty fast when Becky and Roger made the decision to not take care of my children anymore. Instead of returning them back to me, they turned them over to the state basically. If they couldn't have the children, neither could I.
Becky absolutely hated my ex and felt he was an unfit parent as well. However, DCF was sent to his residence as well to check out the home environment and of course it was satisfactory. There really wasn't anything Becky could do about it at this point. She finally agreed to give Manning power of attorney until the guardianship could be resolved so that he could enroll the kids in school before a judge could award temporary custody back to us. I know, the whole thing sounds confusing as I'm writing this out. Becky thought she was sticking it to me when she did what she did. I felt though it was better the kids were with their dad, than with people who were trying to turn our children against.
Not only did they try and turn our children against my ex and I, they tried to alienate them from immediate and extended family as well. When my dad showed that he supported myself and my ex-husband, Becky and Roger stopped contact with him as well. In fact, when my dad was here to support me with my after-care, and he asked to see the kids, they all mysteriously took off somewhere else for the week.

(If I have written about this before, I apologize, but I have a little direction now, and know where I want this story to go. In the beginning of this blog, I kind of bounced around a lot, but now, I'm getting into the heart of this.)