Every day it was something new with Becky. My story seems to read all over the place, but that's only because my life was all over the place. A million little things were going on and literally driving my spirit down.
While this was going on, Becky was making sure my sister had no contact with Nick or Mickaela. In counseling, Nick had said that my sister had asked them even before I got sick if they wanted to come live with her and her husband. Beth did not like at all that I had chosen someone other than her to take care of my children. Why would I leave my children with someone who didn't respect me or my boundaries? Earlier on I had asked Beth to leave me alone, just for a month. She had been calling every day and wouldn't leave me alone. She wanted every little deal about my diagnosis and if I didn't tell her she would look online and then tell people what was going to happen to me. She even told one of my aunts that I had cancer before I had a chance and didn't respect the fact that I needed to tell people in my own time.
Becky would come over to the house and show me emails and texts she received from Beth. One after another sometimes 15-25/day. It was just ridiculous.
In the beginning, Beth said, "I can't believe you let them perform a mammogram on you"? "Really"? I said. Just because she was in nursing school, didn't give her the authority to tell me what to do.
"The levels of radiation are so minute that the benefits outweigh the risks." I said. But as always Beth knew better. Did she really think that in this day and age of breast cancer a mammogram wasn't beneficial? She was a nursing student and I had an aunt tell me that nursing students think they know everything. I wasn't about to listen to a student when I had a team of doctors looking out for my care.The best in the country I might add.
Beth waited to call my children when they went to their dad's on the weekends. When Manning brought them back, you could tell she had talked to them because they acted like there was something they weren't suppose to say.
Becky didn't exactly interrogate them, but Mickaela would voluntarily bring things up. "Beth said not to tell mom that she called," Mickaela said.
This of course came from Becky so I don't know for sure if Mickaela actually said this or not.
Beth and I never got along and Becky knew this and played on this. Becky told Beth all she had to do was respect my boundaries and that Becky would let her see the kids. Instead, Beth pushed, and pushed, and pushed to get what she wanted. To the point that Becky and Roger threatened a no contact order if she didn't stop. Becky had my dad on our side and dad felt that was in the kids' best interest for my sister to leave my children alone for the time being.
My aunt divulged information to Becky that really pissed me off too. My past was for me to tell, not someone else. She told Becky about my parent's divorce, and other instances of my childhood that was really none of Becky's business. I think my aunt thought she was helping, but instead she was just adding fuel to the fire in my opinion. What was the purpose of telling Becky these things? Was she trying to show Becky that I lied and maybe I wasn't being honest with her? The truth is, I didn't have anything to hide. I may have not gone into great detail about my past, but I had shared things with her. I was so sick of the meddling.
Becky knew by pissing me off and telling me about her conversations with my aunt I wouldn't talk to her anymore. That's just how I was. If I felt betrayed in any way, I would just cut them off and not talk to them. I was so sick of the "hamster wheel" as Becky called it. She encouraged me to get off the "hamster wheel" and that's what I was going to do.
After a period of time Becky stopped taking my aunt's phone calls. She wouldn't even let my children talk to her. I didn't really care since my aunt had never really called them before now. No one had.
I felt like I was being pulled in a million directions. On a good day, I wouldn't have been able to decipher everything going on, but I had been going through chemotherapy. I had chemo fog and I became so dependant on Becky, I wasn't even thinking for myself anymore. I let my dad and her think for me. I couldn't help it though. I was desperate to keep my marriage from falling apart and keep my family together. Unfortunately, I felt like everyone was working against me. My aunt would constantly ask me, "Leslie, are you really sure you want to do this"? Who else was going to take care of my children besides someone who I didn't want to leave them with? I resented this question because there wasn't anyone else willing to step up and take my children for me. No one said to me, "Leslie, we'll take them." We were suppose to be this close knit family, but there wasn't anyone that came to me and said they would step in and help me.
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