Bloomin' Boobs

When do you know when the story is over? When is it okay to let go of the pain and angst and just get over it already? I don't know if I'll ever get over it. I don't know if I'll ever get over the fact that someone close to me made tried to steal my children from me. And, it just wasn't one person. Family members tried to do the same thing to me. When is it okay to forgive those people? How do I forgive those people? I constantly struggle with this. I tell myself that I've forgiven them, but I can't allow them back into my life because I don't want to get hurt again. I tell myself that they are family and I need to open my heart up again, but how can I open my heart to them when I don't trust them?
My grandpa did everything for my mother. From fixing up the house when he and grandma would come and visit, to balancing her check-book. He literally did everything for her that a husband would normally do in many families.(Well, maybe not in today's society.)
When he died, my mother broke down. We were at my grandmother's house I remember she put on bright, red lipstick (which she hardly ever wore,) and bright, red blush. She told us she was getting ready for school. My mother was in a delusional state. She didn't want to admit that grandpa had died. I can see now, how scary that must have been forever. He didn't give her the tools to survive on her own. She was a single mother of four children and although she was a teacher, she had no idea how to manage her own life.
We were never really taught about finances growing up. Grandpa just "handled" it.
So, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer it made sense for my aunt to call my dad and tell him that I needed his help with my own finances, which he graciously accepted. I had to figure out what I was going to do. I had no health insurance or income of any kind and I was going to have to make trips to Kansas City quite frequently.
He didn't just take over my finances though, I felt that he was trying to take over my whole life. He was under the impression by Becky that my husband was an abuser and that I demonstrated battered wife's syndrome, which was not true. My husband was and is a good man.
Every day I constantly was badgered to divorce my husband and I needed to protect myself. I realize my dad was just trying to protect me, but I didn't need him to do any of that. I didn't just hear it from my dad. Becky told me the same thing every day except she would use my children. I'm not a freaking wall-flower. My dad lived with my mom for years and she was diagnosed as bi-polar. She would throw pots and pans at him and then take off in the station wagon. Why was it so hard to believe that I was doing the same thing to my husband? I wasn't throwing pots and pans, but I did threaten to hurt him more than once, and I threatened to hurt myself. Was it so hard to believe that I was turning into my mother? Everyone seems to know about my marriage, yet they only have known my husband for about five minutes.
He didn't want our children to grow up in that type of environment and he took them with him. Yet, he's an asshole for trying to protect his children. I wish my own dad would have done the same thing with us when we were younger. Maybe we wouldn't have turned out so screwed up.